Motherhood

It's inevitable. That time in every day where all you hear are tears and whines. All you really want to do is throw any object you can get your hands on at the wall and lock yourself in a quiet room for the rest of the day.

It's that time in every day when I'm hungry meets I'm tired meets I'm not getting my way meets Mama needs a break! Don't we all know that time?

In days gone by, I would place my child in "baby jail", better known as a crib or pack 'n play, and take 5 minutes to brew a cup of coffee, watch a segment of a soap opera, or step outside and catch some fresh air. But now that my little one is much too big for my jail cells, where do I get to go for 5 minutes of sanity?

If I go into the bathroom, she'll simply follow and open the door! If I lock the door, she'll bang on it and yell until I open it! If I tried to step outside, she'd put her shoes on and follow me! As they get older, it is getting harder and harder to escape!

Then I feel like a bad mom for wanting to get away and not treasuring every single moment that I have while these years are upon us. I know that one day I will look back and wonder where time went. I already do. But just like high school was supposed to be the best years of my life but weren't, I have to think that these years aren't really the ones I want to be remembering! Won't I look back on my children's lives and want to remember them as the cute, cuddly babies they once were and the well-behaved, studious, God loving children they are to become?

Who am I kidding with that one?!?!? Chances are my years of tears, back talk, and misbehaving are no where near over! And if you want to be one of those moms who says that your child never back talks or throws a fit in the drugstore because you won't buy them one of those stupid, overpriced toys that they insist on putting in the baby aisle, well, you're lying.

If my kids are anything like me, they will be giving me grey hairs until they are well into their 20's! So I might as well just take a deep breath, and accept the fact that until my children are all old enough to think that seeing me undressed is gross, I have not one room in my house that is private!

And until all of my children are grown and gone, I'll spend all day wishing for some alone time, and all night peaking into their bedrooms to see if they are still awake for just one more kiss.



Motherhood.

Dreams

Oh, how little ones can just make your heart swell! It was our first day of ballet school today, and I had to drag that little ginger out of the studio crying! She would have stayed all day if I had let her! Lucky for her, a friend of hers takes a tap class on the same afternoon, and next week is bring a friend to class day, so she will get to go to two classes!

I remember being that little girl. I remember being convinced that one day I would be a famous ballerina. Or maybe a country singing superstar! I even won a contest once, put on by McDonald's, for a speech I gave on what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think I was in the 3rd grade and I said that I wanted to be an actress, like Julia Roberts. I wanted nothing more in my younger days to see my name in big, bright lights.

I remember those dreams so clearly. I even remember the navy blue romper I wore to give that speech. I remember singing songs in the lines for rides at Disneyworld, hoping that some record exec might have his kids there and discover me. I remeber begging my mom to move to Nashville with me to help me pursue my career (hey, Britney's mom moved to Florida with her so she could get her start!).

One day, you wake up and look into the face that looks so much like yours did when you dreamt those dreams, and you realize that all of the things that you had wanted; all of the biggest and brightest lights in the world, could never compare to watching that face dream.

As I watched my tiny dancer spin and twirl this afternoon, all I could think about was that there was no other life I'd rather be living. No other place in the world that I'd rather be.

"S" Days

We always seem to look forward to the weekends, don't we? Two days where the usual things of life get put on hold to make room for other things on our to-do lists.

But our homes don't become immune to messes, and our children don't suddenly slow down because the day starts with S.

So take a minute, and laugh at motherhood.

Bless yourself with the tools of Biblical womanhood, and in turn, bless your whole family.

Start each day with this prayer, and mean it.

Have a blessed and beautiful weekend.

Hiding Time

I don't have time to work out. I don't have time for friends. I don't have time to read my Bible and spend with God.

I don't have time...

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves. For most things we say we want to be doing, we have the time, just not the commitment.

Every day this week I have set my alarm for one and a half hours before my daughter usually wakes up. My plan was to get up, drink a cup of coffee, read my Bible, spend some quiet time in prayer, and maybe even squeeze in a quick yoga session. An hour and a half alone would be more than enough time to get my day off to a good start. Heck! I might even get a shower in there!

Every day this week I hit the snooze button and fell back asleep until I heard my door creak and a tiny voice say "Mom! Good morning!"

I tend to be very undisciplined. I always have been. And I love to sleep. Actually, I more than love to sleep. Seriously, sleeping is one of my favorite things to do. Especially that feeling when you wake up, look at the clock, and then roll over and snuggle a little deeper down into your covers and fall back into dream land. I love that!

So instead, I stay in bed until little footprints force me up, only to encourage more laziness when I pull that little body up into bed and turn on the television for morning cartoons and snuggles. I treasure this part of the morning! It is such a special time for us as mother and daughter, but it really just delays our day which in the end makes me crazy!

By the time we are up, out of bed, breakfast fed, clothes on, and ready for school, it's usually well into the afternoon! Then I feel like my whole day has gone to waste and I spend the day wishing I had gotten up when the alarm went off the first time!

Maybe my goals were too lofty! Maybe I was reaching for the stars when I should just try to touch the ceiling!

On weekends, I will sleep in and snuggle over cartoons with my little sweetheart but come Monday, it's time for some change! I pledge now to wake up half an hour earlier than my little one does! 30 minutes! It might not give me a whole lot of time, but every week, I will increase it by 15 minutes until I am satisfied with the amount of time I have.

It's time to stop being lazy, and start making myself and things I need to be a healthier person a priority! If I can't find the time within my day to get alone with God, then I must make it. There is no such thing as can't, right? Just won't! And I won't let the temptation of a warm bed rob me of my relationship with God any longer!

Do you sleep in? Spend too much time on the internet? Watch a lot of TV? Go to bed early? A small adjustment might make way for you to get that extra "me" time that you need. If you don't ever take care of yourself, you can't expect to be in good condition to be taking care of others.

Where is time hiding in your day?

These Are My Everyday Failings

As women, we wear many hats. We are wives. We are a mothers. We are friends. We are members of our church and community. We are educators. We have careers. We are women.

It is a struggle each and every day for most of us to be all of those things, and to excel in each of those facets of our lives. Some days, it feels like we just barely get by. If attention is focused in one area, another must, by default, lose out.

So how is it that so many women out there seem to have it all together?

My thought is...they don't. The woman who has it all, and keeps it all together, is a facade created by the lens of social media and creative self-editing. The truth is, I believe that as women, we all struggle to keep a clean house, happy kids, a perfect marriage, great friendships, service to our community, and some sort of self-identity.

More of us look like Marge Simpson than June Cleaver, and that's OK!

Most days, you can still find me in my pajamas, drinking coffee at 4pm. I forget to take something out of the freezer for dinner, and at 5pm scramble to find something I can make that doesn't require much prep. I spend so much of my energy as a mother and a homeschooler, that often times I don't have enough energy to give my husband. I hope that this sounds familiar to someone, and that I am not alone in this!

Every day I am failing at something! Along that way I have learned that there is no such thing as having it all together, or the perfect Cleaver family. They simply don't exist! Instead of trying to keep up with the Joneses and pretend that I've got it all figured out, I thought it was time to get real and find practical ways to be a better wife, mother, friend, and woman!

So pull up a chair and watch as I fall flat on my face day after day! I hope that you enjoy the time that you spend here, and that you find encouragement along the way.

These are my everyday failings...